


Confessions

by NotSoLittleLight



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Castiel/Dean Winchester in the Bunker, Confessions, M/M, Resurrected Castiel (Supernatural)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-01
Updated: 2018-02-01
Packaged: 2019-03-12 08:30:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13543584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NotSoLittleLight/pseuds/NotSoLittleLight
Summary: Castiel heard something when he came back. He heard Dean.





	Confessions

**Author's Note:**

> Hey there! This is my first fanfic in a LONGGG time (like 8 years) and it’s my first attempt at Destiel but I just could NOT get this scene out of my head. Hope you like the scene that’s been driving me crazy for days.
> 
> Not beta’d. All mistakes are my own. I don’t own these characters. All that jazz :)

“We should talk, Dean.”

  
It’d taken every ounce of Castiel’s courage to say the words, Dean’s blink of confusion settling into an almost petrified stare before his eyes.

  
Dean cleared his throat, eyes cast to the floor. “Yeah, uh. Sure.” He bit down on his lip tentatively, his gaze shooting to Castiel’s just briefly before gesturing toward the hallway leading to his room.

  
He could sense the waves of nervousness coming from Dean, could see the way he hunched his shoulders slightly, his fingers clenching and unclenching at his side as they slowly made their way to his door. They hadn’t been alone since he’d returned, since the brothers had picked him up off the side of the road.

  
Now, back at the bunker, Castiel knew he had to confess. He had to let Dean know what he knew. And it was not a conversation for anyone’s ears but theirs.

  
Dean didn’t bother to wait for him, simply opening the door and heading inside. Castiel took a deep breath, his own nerves getting the best of him before finally stepping over the threshold and calmly closing the door behind him.

  
“So, what’s up?” Dean asked, his voice tight with hesitation. Cas turned to meet his gaze and for not the first time that day felt his chest tighten at the fear he saw there.

  
“Dean - I,” he started, a hand coming to rake through his hair in a nervous tick he learned from the man in front of him. He let out a sigh, shaking his head as he sat down on the edge of the bed. “There’s something that I need to tell you. Something that I don’t think - that I know you won’t like. But I need to tell you.”

  
Dean swallowed so thickly that Castiel could hear the click of his throat. “So tell me,” he said, his tone betraying the nonchalance of his words. Dean’s arms crossed in front of him as he steadied himself on instinct.

  
Castiel looked up and met his gaze, stared into the eyes of the man he’d given up Heaven for. “When I came back - When I rematerialized on this plane, I heard something. It was the first thing I heard, that I felt before I opened my eyes.” Cas leaned forward, his elbows on his thighs, staring at a speck of dust on the floor.

  
Dean remained quiet, the sound of his controlled breathing a steady constant in the quiet room as Cas tried to collect his thoughts.

  
“I know, Dean,” he finally said, looking up at his friend with a furrowed brow.

  
Dean’s eyes were wide, terrified, his mouth trembling slightly as he cocked his head just a tick. “Know what exactly?”

  
Castiel turned his attention to his hands, now folding in together between his spread legs. “I know what you were feeling when you thought I was gone.” His voice was quiet, and he was afraid to look back at Dean, afraid to see the horror and betrayal of Cas once again knowing more than Dean would ever allow. “It - It wasn’t on purpose. But as soon as I was here, I felt your pain, your longing, your -” He stopped himself again, closing his eyes briefly before finishing. “I could feel every piece of it, like I was holding on to your soul all over again and I could hear you, calling out to me. Your soul, screaming in agony, for me.”

  
Dean sucked in a ragged breath and Cas’s eyes flickered to the movement as the man before him dropped his balled fists. Cas dared not raise his eyes past those tense hands and he remained quiet, allowing Dean to process his confession.

  
Mere moments felt like hours before Dean finally spoke, his voice soft and tangled with emotion. “I thought I’d never see you again,” Dean whispered. “I prayed to - everyone. Even God. But I couldn’t -” Cas looked up at the sound of Dean sniffling to see him wipe a sleeve over his face roughly.

  
Dean’s eyes hovered at the space beside Cas, red and wet as his lips pursed. He shook his head slightly. “I just couldn’t live with the fact that you were gone. There was so much I needed to -” He sniffed hard once more and stood up straight, still looking everywhere but at him. “So you know, huh?”

  
Castiel waited, looking at Dean until their eyes finally met. He offered a small smile and nodded. “It has been a long time since I’ve been privy to your emotions in such a… thorough way,” he explained. “I don’t think I could’ve recognized it for what it was, had I not been human myself at a point.”

  
“What do you mean?” Dean shifted, his arms once again moved to cross against his chest, to protect himself from Cas’s words.

  
Cas sat up, bracing his weight on one hand beside him. Now came the hard part. “Angels are not programmed to experience emotions. With your help, I found my way around that. Cheated the system, I guess you could say. But I lacked the experience, the depth of knowledge that was needed to recognize certain things. Certain tendencies that occasionally confused me. You, in particular, confused me, a lot of the time.”

  
Cas smiled gently at the incredulous snort from Dean and continued. “It wasn’t until I was human that I was able to define the things I’d been experiencing. Jealousy, longing - desire.” Cas watched as Dean’s throat worked, his teeth skimming his bottom lip before pressing in. “The love an angel is born with for God is nothing compared to the capacity to love… another,” he said carefully, Dean’s eyes flicking up to meet his.

  
“So…” Dean dropped his arms, looking down at Castiel with narrowed eyes. “What exactly are you telling me here, Cas? That you only recognized it because…”

  
Castiel looked away, unable to meet Dean’s curious stare any longer. “Because my love for my father pales in comparison to the love I hold in my heart for you. And when I heard you, I - I thought that bastard had sent me to Heaven because there was no way that the man I’ve fought so hard to protect could possibly be grieving me as a lover.” Cas looked back up, saw the telltale shimmer of fresh tears threatening to spill over onto Dean’s flushed cheeks.

  
“But I was,” Dean finished with a timid nod, blinking and not caring about the wetness on his face.

  
“But you were.” Cas let the side of his mouth quirk up, staring over at Dean and wishing that he had the ability to know what was going through his head now. He wouldn’t try to peek, as tempted as he was. He wanted Dean to feel safe with him.

  
He didn’t have to wonder long, watching curiously as Dean slowly stepped forward, inching his way closer to Castiel’s place on the bed. Castiel sat up straight, looking up as Dean reached a hand toward him, his fingertips brushing the stubbled skin of his jaw so softly that the touch felt like a breeze of warmth.

  
Dean stared down at him, his hand trailing to hold on to the back of Cas’s head, fingers curling in his hair as they searched each other’s eyes. Cas blinked up at Dean, his own hand reaching forward to press against the warmth radiating from the front of Dean’s shirt.

  
“I missed you, man,” Dean whispered hoarsely as he crumpled to his knees on the floor in front of the bed, pulling Cas into a tight embrace, hands scrambling for purchase as he let out a shaky breath that may have been a sob.

  
Castiel’s arms reached around him instantly, pulling him close as Dean’s face found the crease of his neck and shoulder, hands gripping tight onto the back of Cas’s coat as Cas soothed him with a hand down his back, through his hair.

  
“I’m sorry, Dean. If I’d have known -” Cas stopped and closed his eyes tightly, his forehead resting on Dean’s quaking shoulder.

  
“Promise me you’ll stay,” Dean said, his voice muffled, breath hot against Cas’ collar.

  
Cas tightened his hold on the man in his arms and nodded furiously. “It’s all I’ve ever wanted to do, Dean.”


End file.
